If you are grieving or feeling lost or suffering in any way over the holidays, I'd love to tell you something.
You are not failing if you are feeling these things.
You are human.
We have this whole wild range of emotions, and those are part of being human. And I don't mean that in a bypassing way.
I mean that it's normal and proper to feel alllll the things.
It's the idea that we have to do something OTHER than that which is the actual issue.
We're not always to great at sitting with sadness and grief, and allowing the space and support for the whole human, and around Christmas and other holidays, that can feel really heightened.
At the real, beating heart of every winter celebration is something that goes beyond the idea that we'll all be feeling merry and bright or jolly at this time of year.
We are gathering together to share warmth, food, shelter. To appreciate each other's company and sparkly lights and fires in the middle of the coldest, darkest time of the year. We are marking the longest night.
Times when historically it would have been really hard.
And it still IS hard in many ways, for many people, even before you might go through something like bereavement or divorce, illness, family rifts, financial problems or any other struggle.
Winter can be really hard.
And that's kind of the point - celebrations aren't really about the time of year being naturally jolly; they're about us soothing and caring for one another when it's hard.
That gets a bit lost sometimes. But it is still there, and we can bring it to the fore again.
Some years, we will be the ones holding the cosy space for others.
Some years we will be the ones needing holding.
And I know that if you have a bit of a thing about allowing yourself to receive, that can be extra challenging.
And you might want to skip celebrations one year if you can't face it, and that is totally valid (I did that one year, it was actually really helpful).
But if you are worried that you shouldn't be having those feelings when its meant to be a happy time of year, that you should stay away from other people in case you bring them down, that you don't want to be a burden... I just want to say that you are not ruining Christmas if you feel sad.