Day 9. Descent Advent.

A really beautiful photo of an Amanita muscaria by Josh Pullman
I’m not an empath.

I’m not quite sure what I am.

I’m sensitive and feel my own feelings very deeply.

Living in a constant state or inter subjectivity with my environment, the plants, funghi, clouds, creatures.

Beautiful feedback loops of emotions. Pondering and communing, sitting in the invisible realms  

And then human people enter my field of awareness...and I’m not always quite sure what to do, especially if there’s a lot of them.

How do I find language again from my cloudy place?

It takes me a minute to come back into the human world.

There are memories of humans not always being kind, not always understanding, not always getting enough time to tune into them and remember my own humanness. A pressure to be a certain way in order to make them comfortable.

And I’m good at that. A kind of auto pilot takes over. My mouth running off pleasantries to make them feel at home. 

But with my real people, good friends or those who are drawn to work with me, another self can come out.

And I sit a while and tune into you.

And my intuition has the space to begin reading into your inner and outer landscapes.

We talk and our words together build worlds that are greater than the sum of their parts.

I can see the invisible qualities of you, or your business, or your dreams, and help bring them into the light.

I can find words, images, colours to help draw the unseen down into the realms of the tangible.

And we together can explore the weird beautiful wild strangeness of being human.

And this is the magic that I love, the thing that I am here for. These moments of deep interconnection with others. The more-than-humans, and the special humans who come into my sphere…

So, I am not an empath.

I’m not quite sure what I am.

Some kind of mushroom perhaps…

Beautiful Amanita muscaria photo with some of the blog post text on top